When I woke up Sunday I woke up with aches in my arms from loose joints due to having 4 babies, A pinch nerve that really won't ever go away no matter how much yoga and physical therapy I do. I am a proud tiger strip momma. It might not be as bad as some but I have my Tiger strips from 4 babies. My breast are not those perky ones I used to have in face I would say they are sad little pears. Will I get a boob job to fix them? Nope I don't like pain. I was in bed grabbing for my bottle of Advil so I would be able to move and make it downstairs with just a little less pain in my face.
4 babies changed not only my body but my heart, mind, strength and love.
I made my way downstairs to my wonderful husband who made me a the best pancakes I looked around and realized the 18 year old I girl I was years and years ago who swore she would never have children was gone. In fact the 27 year old woman who looked at her husband and said "You have your one child and its boy." from 10 years ago is gone.
I love being a mom. Its hard, I cry and some days I realized I could have had my dream car a Porsche 911 turbo by now and completely paid off with how much money I have spent and will spend on those 4 big blue eye that looked at me with excitement.
Number 2 (GIRL) had made a gift and had been begging me to open it since Friday. When I did I found a picture frame with little pink and green fingers making a flower. She big blue eyes staring at me from behind her very experience glasses that keep her eyes from crossing were filled with excitement waiting for my reaction to her gift. I praised her telling her how much I loved it and said it will go some place special.
Number 1 asked me to open his present and as I did I looked up to see worry in his eyes. I knew he was worried I wouldn't like his gift. When I pulled back the paper I found another frame only this time it was a southwest sunset with a cactus and birds in the sky, It was so beautiful and I quickly thank him for the wonderful gift. He said the two bird represented us having fun playing together.
Number three drew me endless pictures and at preschool made strawberry freezer jam which she made by hand. With the same big eyes I enjoyed everything single yummy bite and it was yummy.
Number 4 just turned three so in true toddler fashion I was the only person he wanted all day. So basically a normal day.
Hubby had worked hard all week and all morning making mothers day special for me so as I watched him fall asleep, I wondered how I was lucky enough to have married an amazing man who understands me even when the crazy train has left the station and isn't come homing for a while. My husband wrote me an email because he knows it is the first thing I check in the morning before I crawl out into the world. I cried knowing that the person I fell in love with, the person I have 4 crazy children with understands all that I do.
The two frames are on my bookcase and said my son and daughter said "WOW mom that is the special place you keep only your books on." That is not true it is where I keep all the frames with my kids art work. Enough said I have 7 frames with 7 different works of art that I will never get rid of.
I hope to remember the feelings I felt today so on the days when I want to pull my hair out and scream (There will be days my guess tomorrow its Monday) I can look at my bookcase and remember the feelings I had today.
Love, Compassion, Feeling Loved and knowing I am Mom!