I even begged a friend to go out but she is kid free this week so I can't blame her for not wanting a girls night out. After all if I could have three days just hubby and I wouldn't even turn my phone one.
|Each one of us created self portrait. The Red, Yellow Green line was originally the youngest but his sister demand a picture. He is the green one. Everyone helped make the picture.|
Motherhood is hard. Its about putting yourself first and last all the time. It is really hard when I put myself first because I feel selfish but when I put myself last I slowly wear out to the point I am physically, emotionally and mentally sick. Find the balance feels like an impossible task. Pretty much like laundry and never ending.
I was once told a song Give said the little stream is a terrible song because what happens when the stream is empty? You can't keep giving when you have nothing for yourself.
As I reflect on the year it has been a roller-coaster of crazy.
I'm blessed that not one of my kids has broken their body parts even after all the crazy stunts they have pulled. AKA "I didn't push him off my bed I touched him and he fell" Man number 2 daughter will be an amazing lawyer.
I'm blessed to have a dog that help bring down the family anxiety but brings in my allergies than I never thought possible.
I'm blessed to have health insurance that takes care of my families physical and mental health. Even when it means a I need to take one of the kids in for blood work. It scares me because I HATE NEEDLES. That's right its all about me even though she is getting poked and more blooded taken than I think she has. Man I am going to promise her the world.
I'm blessed to have a beautiful home that my family can kind find peace and harmony in. I'm also blessed my kids feel comfortable enough to bring their friends home. Although its would be nice if those KIDS stopped eating me out of house and home. (I need to bake Chocolate chip Cookies again. Man those kids can shovel them down)
I'm thankful and blessed to have an amazing understanding husband who is able to hold me when a movie I thought would be the greatest of all time sent me into a wave of painful blocked memories. Yup there is a reason I had blocked those memories. A rough childhood memory but good movie.
I'm Blessed for all the good and I am blessed for all the not so good. Why? Because it shows we how much I have grown personally, physically and most importantly emotionally. I have been able to cry when needed without feeling shame. I have been able to express my love freely without worry. I am starting to feel so much more comfortable hugging those around me. Not because they need a hug but because I want to show my love for them.
I have been blessed to express my love to my family which I have found in my friends. The friends I prayed to God for and he brought them into my life and I can't ever let go. (Totally in stalker type of way. Just kidding.)
Now enough with the sappy.
Have a wonderful week of Thanks and remember with the bad there is good you just need to want to find it.
Always Always Find the Good in the worst of times because it is there.