Sanity Where is it and when will it be coming back?

Disclaimer I am tried have learning disabilities so my grammar, spelling and process will not be the best. So read between the lines or ask me a question. 

I am sure I am not the only one who questions their sanity.  I mean after all kids no kids, married not married, singe or dating.  At some point during then Pandemic you have to be questioning your sanity otherwise you are "Not Human" as my son would say.

The Virus That Shall No Be Named

I have talk to men, women, married, single, kids and no kids and the same thing comes up constantly.
Do you think this is a little over kill?

I have though those same words in my head along with "Can I just get Covid 19 and get over it already."

The more I research the more I have learned that anyone and everyone has a graphic to explain what is going on and to point to the reason why theirs is so much better than others.  Do I trust the President? Nope I am pretty sure he is looking out for his bottom line.  Do I trust the Doctors? Yes the ones who are in the trenches treating and dying along side there patients.

Well Let me Put it This way

Did I think it was over kill at one point? Yes.
When did I change my mind? When The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints shut their doors and brought home millions of missionaries from all over the world.  Oh and Disney shut down their parks.  Both Groups will lose millions if not billions of dollars from their actions. That is when I realized this was real and wasn't going away.  Over Kill Nope!!

Why can't I get it and get over it already.  I am sure many of you who do not have a personal connection to COVID 19 have felt that way.  I can say I have a friend who is a nurse who developed it and said "This is nothing to joke about.  I get the flu every year because I am in the ER and no matter the protection of shot I always get one of the strains. This is completely different.  I am on week three and I can finally get out of bed without passing out from exhaustion. I do not have any going against me but age and the fact I am a nurse."

Here is where she and i are different I am 41 years old with a rare autoimmune disease that required me to take steroid pills every day (FYI I should be taking around 20 mg a day but it makes my anxiety worse so I only take max 7 mg.) and one a week injection of Methotrexate of 10 mg. (I should be taking 15 mg but it make me nauseous to the point I can't get off the couch  without wanting to throw up. I was suppose to be up to 25 mg of the injection but I can't make it past 10 mg.) 
Next I have Asthma.  I have had this since I was 2 years old.  As I grew they thought I had grown out of it until I had gotten the flu in my teens and ended up needing my inhaler again.  Not to mention every couple of years bronchitis makes an appearance.  

What were they thinking!  I am crying at all the toilet paper

That is why I can not just get it and get over with it. My Dr said people in my positions now that is anyone from age 20 to 75 years old take the medications and have the same mixed connective tissue and are healthy like me have a 70% chance of dying from COVID 19!
YES THAT IS 70% of DYING!!!
I have a 30% chance of developing lung issues if I do get Covid 19
and small 10%chance it will throw me back to the beginning of my treatment where I was in so much paint I couldn't sleep, eat, walk or live a life.  I would have to go on Biologic and stay on the same medication I am on now!!

Guess what this is 100% true for anyone with MCTD

NOPE I can't get it and get over it.  Bummer Right!!  I am high risk with 4 kids at home, 3 fish, a dog and a Husband who work in clothing industry and is constant contact with people.
He wears a mask everywhere an every time he goes into work. The second he gets home he jumps in the shower and will not allow me to wash or touch his clothing.  He worries every time he goes into work that he will bring home COVID 19. (More men are dying than women FYI!)  I can't imgaine the stress he is feeling daily.  

I LOVE MY FAMILY Please Stay home for me!

My sanity has left the body.  
When someone says is this over kill Remember someone like me has a 70% chance of dying leaving behind 4 children 13, 11, 9 and 7.  A Husband of 17 years and a life unfinished.

Is it over killer? NO FREAKING WAY!!!