Is there something in the air during the Christmas season that makes kids go a little more crazy than normal?
Are the stores pumping something into the air to make kids who "normal" easy going a little more uptight, a little more loud, and needy?
Honestly I love my little ones and I know I write about how crazy they make me feel. At times I even question why I became a mother. I could have my dream car already between doctors visits and the dentist office. My dream car either a 1996 Porsche 911 Turbo tan interior or a Mustang Fastback. Either one would be wonderful but instead I had children. 4 of them to be exact!! Call me crazy any time because I know I am.
School has sent home notes about entire class of students not listening. Another note sent home telling the parents the kids have been disrespectful. Again is there something in the air?
Even my kiddos have been acting a little more rebellious than normal. What is in the air?
Looking at my calendar in December I have found I am putting sticky notes on it because so many days have not 1 or 2 but maybe up to 6 things happening in one day. I don't even have teenagers yet and my baby is still 3. Crazy Christmas hasn't even started yet.
I decided each week we will go or do one big activity so that I don't go crazy running all over the place. 2nd and 3rd of December had the schools winter carnival and the City light parade. No matter how I looked at it I would be the one hauling all the kids until Doug could meet up with us later. I decided on the Light Parade. (I needed a date night. Yup I'm selfish like that.)
This week we have Band Concert, Christmas breakfast with our church, pack meeting for clubs and the list goes on. Again I will have a date night because well I need my Doug time.
I have anxiety in large social setting when its just me against 4 kids. Every thought you can think runs though my head when I take my kids out alone. Some are normal and some run away like a train and I can't stop those thoughts no matter what I do.
For Example
At the light parade the kids play hide and seek. One child likes to hide a little better than the others and we assume that one is still hiding and doesn't want to come out. We all start to search and before I realize something bad has happened my daughter or son has disappeared into the crowds. Hundreds of people wondering around. I have to grab the other 3 kids and find a police officer to flag down and get them to help find my missing blonde head blue eyed child. She or He has been kidnapped . Mexico is only 4 hours away. (FYI all my kids have blonde hair light or dark. They get it from my husband. I have dark brown)
My son or daughter disappears forever. The kids aren't handle her loss and blames me than my husband blames me and we get divorce. I die a old woman still looking for her daughter/son.
That is where my brain goes when I take my kids out to parades all by myself. All because I look my kids to the light parade alone.
Trust me I have done everything I can to control those run away thoughts but something they come and sometimes I can control them. Either way they are my thoughts.
This year I decided to suck up the fear and go all alone. The kids did play hide and seek and while they didn't like the idea of having to be close to me. I didn't care I need to be able to see them in the crowd of people. After a while everyone came back to the blankets and we cuddle looking at the star map on my phone while we waited for Doug (I have give him the wrong directions.) find us. Than we watched the parade, Our youngest the 3 year old love every second of the parade. His eye lit up with each person, float and car decorated in endless lights. All those crazy anxiety filled fears never came true. We had fun (All expect Doug he has a bad tooth that was causing him problems.)
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| Yes it is a tumbleweed tree. I love my town! |
Heavenly Father , God, Jesus, whatever you call him I call him my Heavenly Father sent me these amazing souls not because they needed me but because I needed them. I needed them to show me that I am capable of pushing though my anxiety filled fears and enjoy the small things in life.
My oldest takes such good care of his siblings that I could have sat with my back to all 4 of them knowing he would keep them safe. Its a lot of responsibility he holds on his 10 year old shoulders but it was something he was born with. He was born to protect, love and care about those around him. Whether they are his friends, siblings or strangers he will protect those he sees. He doesn't use his fist but words. I am blessed beyond words to have him in myself. (He drives me crazy sometimes.)
While Christmas has its endless amounts of anxiety with my loud kids that seem a little more rebellious than normal. I know without them this time of the year wouldn't mean nearly as much fun, love or excitement. Seeing my baby's eyes light up and clap though out the parade, watching my oldest practice his same Christmas songs over and over and over and over again until he has it perfect, or my girls WWF wrestling in their bedrooms about something they both want. Its all crazy but in a way it is the perfect amount of loving crazy I could ask for.
Those with or without kids find what does this season means to you? For me it means love that I want to carry with me all year around. I will vent, pull my hair out and questions my sanity but I will also enjoy the love. That I feel every day.
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