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Sunday, January 13, 2019

Anxiety and ADHD life of mom when you can't get your medication

I promise we have been reading lots of books for everyone to enjoy our review.  Life however gets in the way.  I have found myself with Insomnia off and on though out December and now into January.
Wonderful part about Insomnia I am able to get lots of reading, cleaning, baking, Xbox games and endless Netflix watched. 
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FYI I don't get the Hype about the Crown.  I watched the entire first season and I guess I need things to blow up.

With the New Year we found we have new insurance that decided to not cover my son or my ADHD medication.  From Dec. 15 until January 10th I was out of my ADHD mediation helps me function.  Image result for daydreaming adhd

I find it difficult to be able to focus priorities. Instead I follow my thoughts that lead me from washing off the kitchen table and dumping dish in the sink to remembering that  my car needs to be cleaned out. Dish do not move to the dishwasher because I am off to car. While cleaning out my car I find myself remembering that I didn't finish cleaning the kitchen. I fill the trash bag but leave it in my car as I head back into the house to the kitchen. Oh no its lunch time so time to make lunch  once again I am distracted by a thought and I am off. Before I know whats going on it time to start dinner with a half cleaned kitchen, trash bag in my car and three bags of trash needing to be thrown out.
At night the insomnia start because anxiety takes over telling everything I haven't be able to finish though out the day.

I had Anxiety attacks because I couldn't get my thoughts to slow down long enough to be able to process my thoughts feeling overwhelmed and confused.  My days flew I kept myself locked in my house because I wasn't able to deal with life, the noise surrounding.  With ADHD it isn't always hyper but being able to hear everything around me unable to focus on anything even the person standing 3 feet in front of me.  I have to ask that person to repeat themselves because I hear everything.  I set off my social anxiety because I don't want to constantly as someone to repeat themselves.
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I find I am unable to connect with my family because I am to tried to focus on anything from lack of sleep.  My amazing Doctor refused to allow insurance tell him what to do so after three rejected letters he was able to get insurance to accept the need of the medication and after a month I find that my ADHD mediation is apart of life.
I spent my life against medication because "the world is over mediated" or "everyone has ADHD" but learned to be the best mom sometimes I have to admit I can't do it all alone and medication is necessary to live a fulfilled life.

The medication help me be "normal" Normal is over rated so it helps be the Best Heidi I can be for my family and life.

This new year I have set a personal goal to accept my mental health myself. Accept that for me to be the person I want to be Medication is apart of my life.  It is hard but it is a goal.

Here is back to Book Review.

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